


Honestly

by ErinWantsToWrite



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Akumatized Marinette Dupain-Cheng, adrien tries, akuma!marinette, more tags, ongoing series hopefully, please someone suggest tags as this goes along I'm so bad at writing them
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-03
Updated: 2019-05-21
Packaged: 2019-10-27 07:18:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17762300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ErinWantsToWrite/pseuds/ErinWantsToWrite
Summary: "Marinette won't mind." They say.But you didn't ask if I would..."She's just jealous."I'm just worried about you all..."I'll take them all away from you."They aren't something you can take. They choose.-AKA Marinette Dupain-Cheng deserves to ROAST the hell out of some classmates.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Mari needs some hugs.

My first memory is of my grandmother's garden. She had this lovely little cottage in the French country-side, which sat on a hill surrounded by overgrown colorful plants and watched the field below like a fantasy house. She had trinkets for her garden, such as musical wind chimes that sang lovely songs to the birds that bathed in the short bird fountain that had paintings from when my dad was younger. A garden chair and table sat perfect for tea parties with the rabbits that popped their heads up between bushes. But my favorite thing that was there was the ladybug paintings on the side of her house. (Which must have been a deep foreshadowing that life wanted to throw into the mixing bowl.) I had asked her what the ladybug was while she was digging through the dirt and planting another seed that would grow lopsided but healthy. I had touched the painting gently, and peeked up at it. My grandmother had laughed merrily, as if remembering an old story.

"Ladybugs are good luck, mon bijou. If you ever see one and it likes you, it means that good luck is coming your way." She bopped my nose with the end of her gloved finger, dirt smudging on my nose and letting me giggle. "I know it's true, because a ladybug kissed me and I met your grandpa. He's the best thing to come out of the good luck."

I had sat down on the grass, staring up at the painting with wonder. Good luck? "What if the ladybug doesn't like you?" 

"Mon bijou, ladybugs are created from someone's past life. Those who lived their past lives loving others no matter what they've done. They gave and gave, and brought so much light to others." She leaned to me, hugging me close. "And they get to live their next life as a Ladybug, relaxed and loving, bringing good luck to others as they used to. You see?"

I nodded, but still wanted to know one more thing.

"When will I meet a ladybug?" I looked up to her, and she gave me a warm hug, kissing my cheeks. I laugh, trying to escape the tickles. 

"Well, ladybugs come at a time where you have spent a long time feeling overwhelmed and sad. They come to give you their love, and then you and the people you love can live happily." 

I was quiet for a moment, then smiled up at the ladybug paintings. "I wanna be a ladybug! Then I can make other people happy!" I look to my grandma from between her arms.

"I believe you can do it, Marinette. You are my Ladybug!" 

That memory, despite it being years ago, feels so warm and clear in my heart. I think of it after akuma battles, and I think of it when I help a classmate and can see them smile. It fills my heart to see that I am Ladybug. Someone who brings good luck and joy to people. 

I think of it while watching my backpack tumble down the stairs, papers scattering onto the courtyard. 

"Oh no! Marinette, you need to be more careful. Here, let me help!"

"I don't want your help, Lila." I snap, feeling bitterness sting on my skin. I wish for nothing more than to tell her where she can stick her fake offering of help. 

Alya rolls her eyes. "Mari, don't get so worked up. Really, Lila was just trying to help."

I won't mention that Lila had kicked my bag down the stairs. Because I know pointing it out will only cause trouble. I feel like imploding, or exploding, or  _something_ but I can't. I won't let her get to me, even if I want nothing more than to throw  _her_ stuff down the stairs. 

I pick up my things as I walk, gathering them into my bag. Sure, I'm clumsy, but I do know how to hold my bag. I grab the last book, sighing and stuffing it in my bag. To calm myself down, I think of Grandma's garden. I hear the bell echo across the school, signaling that it was time to head to lunch.

Things have been like this since Lila came back a week ago. It gets increasingly more annoying, watching her manipulate my friends and fool them. Even though the lies are obvious, which says something about the class. Though I'm sitting with Alya now, I can't help but notice that Alya consistently distances herself with me. Not that I've had time to confront her, with more akuma attacks on my plate. 

But I've also noticed that I'm fairly busier than usual, and it makes me feel more stressed than I should be, even without akuma attacks.

I let the others go on ahead of me, choosing instead to go eat some pastries my dad made on the bench so I could work on my late assignments unbothered. I got bored halfway through the assignment, trying to focus but ending up doodling little ladybugs on the page. Tikki was mostly asleep so she couldn't chastise me. 

I sigh, looking around. This was my routine before Alya came to our school. I would sit on a bench and do homework, since no one wanted to sit with me. Sure, I was acquaintances with everyone, but before becoming Ladybug, I wasn't confident. I was always by myself, working on some fashion design. But then again, before this year, I wasn't so burnt out trying to keep people happy and keep up with homework and my passion _and_ being Ladybug.

But I don't know how else to live anymore. I'm trying to not keep calling Lila out on her lies, but it gets harder and harder every time she opens her mouth. I could hear it in my head, how I'm still bothered by that _stupid seating arrangement_. 

 

"Marinette won't mind." They said. 

 

But you didn't ask if I would...  _No one asked me._ Did they even consider that I would want to sit next to my friends? Did they not care?

 

"She's just jealous."

 

I'm just worried about you all... It isn't about her taking them away from me, or her dating Adrien. Lies can hurt people, and she keeps lying and doesn't care about the consequences of her actions. I don't want anyone to get hurt. I'd still react this way if I didn't like Adrien. I'm not that shallow...

 

"I'll take them all away from you."

 

They aren't something you can take. They _choose_. They're choosing now. To them, everything _I'm_ saying-even after everything I've _done_ for them- is the _lie_. How could they? I try so hard to keep everyone happy, to keep them safe from Hawkmoth, and from getting hurt by seemingly petty lies. But it blew up in my face, and I thought... I thought there was  _no way_ they'd ever just believe Lila over me. But... maybe I'm wrong. Maybe, just maybe, they think I'll get over it. 

Maybe I should teach  _them_ the lesson instead of it just being  _me_ who learns. They never have consequences, yet I do? I always do everything to keep others happy and this is what I get in return? 

I'm tired of this.. this  _way_ that they treat me. I want something to be done about it- I want, that even just  _once_ , that this city will finally learn its lesson.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marinette does NOT want to be akumatized. But even the strong fall sometimes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I couldn't update faster, I'm having a hard time with school, plus my other stories on here that I don't know where to take. But this one... this one I KNOW what I want Marinette to say. I also wrote this five times and had SO MUCH DONE but they all got deleted instead of posted so-

I spent all of last night working on my designs for a small upcoming contest and listening to Tikki talk about some past stories. My parents were catering a charity event, and when they got home it sounded like it went well. I saw off the catering truck as they kissed me goodnight, both joking with each other like they had had some champagne at the party. I'm glad they had fun, because usually they get too busy with the bakery to let loose a bit They had spent a month getting ready for this event, and their hard work payed off. But they wouldn't trade that for anything else. They put their heart and soul into the bakery, and hopefully one day I'll be able to do the same, while also focusing on my fashion line. 

As they went to bed, I locked up the shop, and remembered when I was a kid, running around in the shop as Mama and Papa baked. The smell of sweet breads, the ring of the bell when a customer walked in. How I liked pretending that I was the cashier when really my mom handled the transactions. These are fond memories for me, and I know my parents treasure those moments as well.

When I got to school, however, I felt my patience was tested. I saw a heard of my classmates surrounding a table, and decided to ignore it. Usually, that meant it was Lila telling a tale of woe or victory. But I faltered into a stop when I heard the charity event being mentioned.

"Oh yeah, it was my parents who did the catering. It went so well- mom and dad are excellent bakers. They even won several awards when we lived in Germany." It sounded like a hissing teapot when she spoke. On the brink of disaster.

"Are you kidding me?" I say, already fired up. " _My_ parents did the catering for the Franco event." The class turned to me, and now there was a hole where I could see Lila. She narrowed her eyes at me, but suddenly gasped.

"Marinette, you know it's a curse to take credit for another bakers event! Your mom and dad could get cursed!"

"Oh stuff it, you snake. Don't take credit for my parent's work. They spent a month getting that order perfect, and I'm not letting you take that credit." I walk up to her, fuming. 

"Mari, girl, you need to apologize. For real." 

I turn to Alya, who's crossing her arms. I give her a shocked look. Why in the world would she...?

"I know you don't like Lila but really, taking credit? Her parents are esteemed bakers-"

"And mine aren't?" I ask, hurt. Where was she getting this from? "Lila's parents are diplomats. Not bakers." I furrow my brows, crossing my arms and staring Alya down. Alya moves to sit next to Lila, who is faking shock at Alya's reaction.

"Your parents are good, but she just handed out the leftover sweets her parents made for the event. They were incredible." Alya said. "Really, I think you're taking this rivalry with Lila a little too far."

I step back, hurt in my eyes. How could she say something like that? After everything my parents did to make that a success, after all the hard work- after hours of them sitting in the kitchen doing the math and fitting into the budget, plus making the treats? I clench my jaw, staring at the ground. I feel my nails dig into my fist. My parents sometimes gave up valuable work time to make pastries for the class. They did it often, even, and always made a show to come to school events to hand out food. 

"I can't believe you." I say, seething mad. "I really can't believe that you think so highly of heroes- when you act like such a villain sidekick sometimes." 

"Me? I can't believe you!" Alya stands. Rose and Juleka stand back, other class members tensing. "You bash on Lila for lying when she isn't, but everyone can always tell when you are! You run late for everything and make excuses as if it'll make things better! How can you call yourself a friend? I want you to apologize to Lila, Mari."

"She doesn't need to Alya, really-" Lila put on her fake sweet voice, and I grit my teeth. "Please, we can all just let it go, right? I don't want you two to argue, you're such good friends-"

"I'm not gonna be friends with a  _bully._ " Alya said. I looked at her, hurt blossoming in my chest. Me? A bully? 

I bite my lip, tears springing into my eyes, and turn on my heel and run. I head to the bathroom, wanting to be alone and my head spinning. I hit someone, and stumble back, a sob falling out of me. 

"Ah-Marinette?" 

I don't react to Adrien's voice, just keep running away. I hear his words in my head too, just as clear as Alya's.  _She's not hurting anyone. Bully._

_Bully._

_Bully._

_Stupid._

_Clumsy._

_Liar._

_Bully._

Someone grabs my arm, and I jerk away, rubbing my tears away. I hear Adrien huffing, he ran to catch up with me. 

"Marinette, what's wrong?" He sounds concerned, worried. But I look away from him, still trying to stop the tears.

"You-You're  _wrong._ " I spat, backing away from him. He tries to put a hand on my shoulder, but I jerk away from him. Possibly for the first time ever. "Lies  _do_ hurt people. All the- all the time." I turn and run again, faster. Fast enough for him to not catch me. Not fast enough to rid myself of their voices.

I slam into the bathroom as another girl exists. I lock it behind me, then sit on the floor in one corner. It wasn't that I was just upset about the bakery. Alya called me a bully, someone she doesn't like. As if I don't try so hard, every day, to help everyone. I'm always putting myself on the line for them, always trying to defend them. Always trying. I learned that from my parents, from being Ladybug. To always keep trying, no matter what, as long as it's helping someone.

"Marinette, I'm so sorry." Tikki fluttered out of my purse, nestling herself into my neck. "I'm sorry this happened." 

"I-I just wanted to-to protect my parents- they- they worked  _so hard_ for tha-that event." I sobbed, holding Tikki gently. She hugged me back too, as hard as she could. "I'm always trying to keep them safe- everyone. I didn't think- I didn't think that she'd turn on me like that. She-she  _knows_ my parents are bakers. Lila- Lila can't stop lying, and now it'd hurting my parents, and my friends really are turning against me- why can't they see that they don't- they don't get to say what I'm worth?" I rub at my tears angrily. "I do so much for them, I don't get to decide anything to help myself because it could hurt  _them._ And they accuse me-  _me_ of lying and being-being-being a... a bully." 

"And  _Adrien_ \- he really thinks she can't hurt anyone. She  _is_ hurting them, and I can't stop it." I sob again, rubbing at my face so harshly that it stings.

**_"You are too right, Freida."_ **

I suddenly notice that Tikki has left me. The voice reverberates in my head, and I can't shake the feeling that he understands all my pain. All the hurt. He knows, This voice understands.

I shake my head, grabbing at my earrings. I see Tikki, hiding in the corner with my purse. I throw them to her, and she sticks them in my bag. I look to my wrist, where the lucky charm Adrien gave me was now stained an inky black. 

"Get-get out of my head." I scratch at my head, as if it'll help. "No-No I don't want your help!" 

A knock at the bathroom door. 

"Marinette? Can you tell me what's wrong? Maybe we can fix it together." Adrien's voice is muffled by the door. I panic. If I get turned, then he'll get hurt.

"Adrien go away!" I yell, standing up.

"Marinette please don't lock me out." 

_**"He won't understand, Freida. Not like I do."**_ His voice echoes in my head, and I yell.

"You don't understand anything! I don't want your stupid help, okay!?" I look into the mirror, the familiar purple butterfly casting eerie light onto my face. "Get out of my head!" 

"Marinette..?"

_**"You're friends have betrayed you. They don't understand that you just want to help them. Keep them safe, and happy. But all they do is hate you."** _

For some reason, those words sounded true. It hurt my chest, and I fell to my knees.

_**"Let me help you, Freida. I am Hawkmoth. Together, we can make them understand."** _

His words reverberated inside my head. He was right. He could help. He knows how to make them understand.

_**"All I need in return are Ladybug and Chat Noir's miraculous. And then, you can always be the judge, the persecutor. And no one else can tell you a lie."** _

"Marinette- Mari open the door." Adrien sounded panicked. But he also sounded distant, like his words meant nothing to me. 

"Yes, Hawkmoth. I accept."


	3. Chapter 3

<https://definetlydorkybandgirl.tumblr.com/> Here's my tumblr, where you can find a picture I drew of Freida!

\---

I stared into the bathroom mirror, still slightly disoriented. I couldn't seem to focus on who I was before- the only one that exists now is Freida, who only knows how she was wronged. I had jumbled, abstract concepts of what I knew and didn't know. 

The mirror showed me that I was, almost, a different person. For the first time, I transformed and don't have a mask. My face looked back, though I looked less like myself- I had a wicked smile on my face. My hair was in a single, long braid, and tied with a dark pink ribbon. I wore white gloves, and the akuma bracelet dangled on my wrist. I wore a piece of garment that resembled a picture my mother showed me of her time in China and was tight enough that I could fight in. The neckline was just as my Ladybug costume was. It was colored like a very off design of what I usually wore, with dark pink spots around my waist. 

The ominous butterfly appeared over my eyes, and HawkMoth's voice rang in my head.

_**"Let's not keep them waiting."** _

"Course not. I don't want to be late, punctuality is very important for the classroom." I hiss. I reached out my arm, and pulled a judge hammer large enough to squash a watermelon out of thin air with a burst of pink light. I smile, already overjoyed with the weapon. The handle extends as far as I want, I learn, when I drag the hammer across the bathroom floor, and kick open the door with some extra spicy  _gusto._ They want a bully? I'll give them something better- a judge.

I look around the floor- where Adrien had been standing was now empty. A pity- I really wanted to smash his head first. No matter, I'll find him later. What my first priority is is finding Lila and Alya, to prove once and for all that the judge is always right. I move to the staircase, watching people below scatter. Someone must have warned them. I think Adrien's absence is explained now.

"Tch. Now he decides to take action. What an unendurable brat." I take my time stepping down the stairs, feeling emotion running around my chest, as if to show support to the words bouncing around in my head. 

_Bully._

_Liar._

_No-good._

"It won't be any of you that decides anymore- it'll be me!" I yell, angry. Alya and Lila are nowhere to be found, and other students are cowering inside classrooms.

"Well that doesn't sound very pleasant. Y'know tyranny doesn't work, right, Princess?" A conceited voice purred from above. I don't need to look to know who it is.

"It can always work. All you have to do is kick out the little pests that try to fight." I hiss, looking to the cat. His confident voice was a lie. I could see, that for some reason, the usually cool tomcat was worried. He had a fake smile plastered on his face, and it pissed me off. "Why don't you come on down and fight me? You'll be an excellent example for the others."

"Not cool, Marinette. I know you're better than this." Chat Noir said, extending his staff sharply and sliding down until he hit the floor below. He let his staff spin in the air, then caught it smoothly.

"My name is Freida, and you will call me such. Show respect for your judge." I say, dragging my hammer in front of me and pointing the handle up. I rest my hands on the handle, watching Chat Noir carefully. "Marinette was weak, and let people step on her over and over. Freida can do more, I can do more. I can make people tell the honest to god truth. No one will ever lie again."

_**"Freida, grab Chat Noir's miraculous before Ladybug shows up. Two on One isn't savory."** _

"Don't worry HawkMoth. Ladybug won't show up." I point out. "And I don't intend to lose anyways."

"What do you mean, Ladybug won't show?" Chat Noir asks. I see from his stance that he'll fight me anyways. I sigh, annoyance filling in my lungs. 

"I  _mean,_ Tom Cat, that Ladybug won't show. You'll fight me alone. You always lose when your LadyBug isn't around."

"Marinette what did you do to her?" Chat was panicked, but not trying to show it.

"My name is Freida! And I haven't done a single thing! You really  _are_ a dense cat, you would never have held up without LadyBug, just like my class could never hold up without Marinette!" I seethe, taking my hammer and holding the handle steadily. "You'll tell me where you hid Lila and Alya right now, Chat Noir. Otherwise, you'll lose more than your miraculous."

"Marinette, please. If there's anyone I know that can fight an akuma, it's you. I need you to hear me, Marinette. We can solve this without anyone getting hurt." Chat Noir pleads, his ears hanging low.

I feel only anger at his rebuttal, and take my hammer upwards, ready to swing. "My name is Freida!"

I slam the hammer down, the handle extending enough to land harshly against the ground where Chat Noir was standing. He dodged quickly. The building shook with the force from the hammer. Metal groaned in protest, and Chat Noir began to worry about the people inside. A weakness I could exploit.

I swing my hammer, this time, at a metal pole that was helping hold up the upstairs balcony. It snapped like a weak bone, and tumbled to the ground with the sound of metal hitting metal. I snicker with glee.

"One by one I take thee down, To enjoy my gold Crown!" I chant, taking a runner's stance. I push off and within a second, I was at the next pole. I swing my hammer, and the pole falls, along with screams from the people upstairs.

"Hey Little Judge, fight me, not the architecture!" Chat Noir yells, throwing his baton to my feet to trip me. I jump up, flipping in the air and landing on my toes, the hammer at my side. I growl at him in frustration, and swing from Chat's left. That's his most unprotected spot. He usually protects his right.

I land a hit, and he goes flying to my right, hitting a wall. He leaps to his feet quickly, and pushes off from the wall to run at me. I swing again, letting him get a little closer. This time, I swing to  _his_ feet, and he's sent to eating pebbles. 

He jumps backwards with a flip, landing easily. I see him calculating. He's wondering where Ladybug his, and what he can do to break the akumatized bracelet on my wrist. I wonder how'll he'll handle this. He can't do anything to catch the akuma, so what is he to do without his Ladybug? I smile knowingly. He can't do anything except try to keep me pinned. If he uses his cataclysm, Ladybug can't purify it and I could be turned again. For now, I know that he has trust that Ladybug will show up. He won't try to use cataclysm until he absolutely needs to. 

"HEY MARINETTE!"

Chat Noir and I both snap out heads to the unstable upstairs balcony, where Alya stood, clinging to the bars. Nino was holding onto her schoolbag strap so as to keep her from going over the edge. I feel my rage turn over in my head, the word  _bully_ stinging me. 

"Alya, no!" Chat Noir yells, leaping up to block me from her.

"Why don't you just target me! That's what you're after, right? You want me to apologize?" She yells at me, and I swing my hammer around to my side. Chat Noir was trying to push her back, but Alya was maintaining her stance.

Alya Cesaire, I hereby sentence you to  _shut the fuck up."_ I slam my hammer onto the ground, and as the building rumbles, Alya grasps her throat, trying to speak. I cackle, delighted beyond compare. "Looks like now, all you can do is  _listen_. Something you couldn't manage before, not when your only true talent was being a big mouthed brat!"

Chat Noir pushes Alya into Nino's arms.

"Nini Lahiffe, I hereby sentence you to tell me where Lila is hiding." I slam the hammer down. 

Nino's eyes go blank. In a droning voice, he says, "Lila was hidden by Chat Noir in the chemistry classroom."

Once the sentence stops, I relish in my power. He falls to his knees, but otherwise gains his composure.

"Thank you, Nino. You've been such a help. It's a shame that you let others manipulate and lie to you. You've never had a true backbone in your life. Seems your time as a hero did as little help as Alya's time." 

"What? You-you- Marinette?"

"What, you think I didn't know?" I say, as the three stood unsteadily on the creaking balcony. Chat Noir was holding into Alya, who was slowly slipping bit by bit towards the bars.

"But.. but only Ladybug knows that.." Nino says, as Alya seems to be trying to connect her thoughts together.

I laugh, a cold laugh that lays dead on even my ears. It's a hollow sound, but I do feel something rolling around inside me. My every nerve feels energized. By heart beating fast and irregular. I turn on my heel, a smile spreading on my face. I know my destination will leave me with everything I want.

"As I walk, through the hall, I can hear, them try to stall. This will end, with the liar, sentenced to the burning pyre." I sing, walking up the broken, creaking metal steps. "They can try, they can fight, this will go on through the night, but I know, with my heart, that they are doomed from the start."

"Marinette stop!" 

I look down, right below me. Kim is standing as tall as he can, holding a metal piece that broke off the steps. Ivan stands next to him, though not as confidently.

"Really, Marinette, do you think this will solve anything?" Kim yells to me. "All you're doing is proving that you're unreasonable."

"As unreasonable as someone who got akumatized for liking Chloe?" I snap back. "As unreasonable as someone that thinks he can outrun a panther? As unreasonable as you, Kim?" I  sit down on a step, holding the bars like a prisoner. I fake weep. "All I wanted was for Chloe- someone who is known to be full of greed and hate and shows no signs of compassion for others- to love me! Boo Hoo hoooooo!"

"You... You supported me with that." Kim said quietly. "You even... even helped me move on...."

"I was being  _nice_!" I yell suddenly, making him flinch. "I was being compassionate for you, someone I cared for! But that's all weakness! Do you think that if you plead to me, show me the Power Of Friendship, that I'll just stop being akumatized?" I laugh, standing up and letting my hammer be carried above my head. "Lê Chiến Kim, Ivan Bruel, I hereby sentence you to round up the rest of our class for judgement." I slam the hammer on the ground, and watch them drop their weapons, leaving to grab other students.

"Marinette stop!" Chat Noir yells. 

"Marinette stop!" I mock in a high voice. "Shut up you lousy cat, I have a liar to sentence."

I finally make it to the door of the chemistry room, swinging open the door. I hear Lila in the back, and head towards her. I see other students cowering, not wanting my attention, but all I do is find Lila hunched in the back of the classroom. I smile down on her, crouching to her level. I tilt my head at her. She's scared I'll hit her. She's pushing herself as much as she can against the wall, shaking from how close I am.

"Hush now, Little Bitch. All I'm gonna do is let everyone know that you're a self loathing, despicable liar, who's a no good piece of filth on the bottom of my shoe." I say in a sweet voice. I grab her jacket, yanking her forward. I stand, and drag her behind me. I see Chat Noir standing at the entrance of the classroom, and I smile. One hand is occupied with Lila, the other with the hammer. I should be at a disadvantage. 

"Put her down right now." Chat Noir says. I laugh at the self-imposed dark edge he used. It sounded like a kitten trying to be fierce.

"Oh my, what authority. Say, do you think you could use it again? It makes me laugh." 

"I'll say it only once more." Chat Noir extends the staff. "Put her down."

"And if I don't want to?" I look into Chat's green eyes, wondering if he thinks he can win this. 

"I'll have to stop you, of course." 

"Bring it on, Chat Noir."


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reveals and confessions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long, I've been working on APUSH projects and studying for Chem. My final is tomorrow for Chem and then I should be done with Junior year so whoo!! Anyways, I hope this was worth the wait!

[Stern Sneeze drew my Akumanette and it's AWESOME I LOVE IT](https://sternsneeze.tumblr.com/post/184557142682/definetlydorkybandgirl-art-for-honestly-by) CLICK HERE!

-

"I know you're better than this, Mari." Chat Noir stared me down, his green cat eyes refusing to look away from me. He doesn't glance to Lila, who is as still as possible in my grip. I feel anger in me, but something more prevalent was bubbling its way to the surface. Sadness echoed in my heart and kept shaking in my core. The pain Marinette felt became one with my- Freida's- anger at Paris. It mixed around inside me and that emotion pushed every single action of mine forward.

"Maybe Marinette is, but  _I_ am not." I roll my shoulders back, closing my eyes. The power Hawkmoth gave me reverberates through every part of me. It feels good, the rush of untapped potential. The justice I want that is _so_ close to me.

"I..." Chat Noir pauses, his stance was faltering. "Marinette, can we just like, talk it out?"

"Absolutely not, fuck you." I pull myself into running position, and then push my feet into the ground to launch myself towards the door. He grabs at my foot, and I tumble into the railing with a rush of air. He goes to grab my akuma item, but I'm already out the doorway and flipping over the broken balcony. In the courtyard, I see the class, Kim and Ivan sitting with them in a daze. I doge Chat Noir's attack, striking his back and sending him flying. He manages to catch himself.

I look for Alya and Nino, but see no sign of them.

"I sent them away, Marinette. This isn't the way to get what you want. You need to fight Hawkmoth, he can't help-"

"Like everyone helped me!?" I yell, holding Lila over the edge of the balcony. "So far, I'm getting everything I need because Hawkmoth is the only one who's helping me. I spent way too long letting myself get caught up  _fighting_ him, when he could have been helping me and I helping him!"

"You don't really believe that!" A voice from below shouts.

I swivel my head, tiny Alix angrily staring back at me.

"Oh really? Tell me what I believe. Tell me, because obviously you know me so well." I hiss, my voice low enough to sound like oncoming disaster.

Alix, though her voice shakes, stands her ground. "You're one of the kindest people I've ever met. You even try to give Chloe of all people a second chance! You always do the most to keep us safe, especially when Hawkmoth is involved!"

"You're one of the kindest people I've ever met!" I mock in a higher pitched, annoying voice. "Well, now I'm one of the bitchiest! Where was that kind of thoughtfulness before I was akumatized you dipshit? What, you want me to suddenly think 'Oh wow, yeah I remember how much everyone loved me!' No, you didn't! You believed this lying little snobby girl who just wants to manipulate you all!" I throw my judge's hammer over my shoulder, keeping a close eye on Chat Noir.

"Marinette you need to fight him!" Rose said, her voice flitting around with that usual annoying high pitched lovey-dovey shit. 

A headache is forming at my temple, I drop Lila, Chat Noir dipping to catch her. They both land on the ground safely, disappointingly.

_No, I'm glad they're safe._

My hammer slips a bit in my grasp. That's  _my_ voice, but it's not me saying it.

_I know we're angry. But they're right. Hawkmoth is controlling us. We can't let him do that. He's just as bad as Lila. He lies to everyone he meets, like poison in someone's drink._

"Stop..." I grab my head, my hammer falling to the ground below. I gasp for air, the headache I had was blooming, my head felt like it wanted to implode and my skin itched like fire. I struggle to breathe, closing my eyes.

**_What's wrong, Freida? What is happening?_ **

_Don't listen to him, listen to us. You have to fight the akuma from the inside out._

**_Freida, tell me what's wrong._ **

"Marinette!?"

"Stop! Stop! Get out of my head! Everyone get out of my head!" I pull at my hair, but I can't feel that pain.

_Please, fight._

More pain is biting at me, this time I know it's Hawkmoth. It feels like my bones are splitting inside my skin. I struggle to breathe, grasping my throat and shuddering from the pain. I'm on my hands and knees, the balcony is groaning under me. I reach for the bar to pull myself up, the Hawkmoth induced pain increasing.

_I have to fight this. I can't let him take over me anymore._

"Stop- make it- stop- Chat Noir-" 

As soon as I gasped out his name, Chat Noir is beside me on the balcony, trying to help me breathe. "I- I can'-t- I can't breathe-"

Purple clouds my vision.  _ **Freida, stop this insubordination.**_

"Chat-"

A loud clap of thunder and the feeling like the air itself is pulling away from me, then all I see is one color.

Red. All I see is red,  but it's very soft. Not harsh and full of anger, but something deeper and full of... hope. I name that emotion. It's hope.

_ "Ladybugs are good luck, mon bijou." _

Grandma's voice echoes inside my head. I can almost feel the warmth from the sunny sky on that day, in her garden, where she told me that Ladybugs are people who lived their entire lives loving others. Then, I gasp in air, the whole world spinning. I look down at my hands, finally breathing fresh air. Chat Noir's arms wrap themselves around me carefully, holding me up. My memory feels hazy, but it's like all the anger I felt was dispersing away from me. I feel tiny drops of rain spltter on the top of my head.

"You- you fought it." Chat says, and I lean into him, my body aching with pain that was ebbing away. "You did it."

"Holy fucking shit my head hurts." I whisper, and Chat looks down at me in awe. With a smile, he shakes it off. Chat Noir looks down at the class, rain falling down in a light sprinkle.

"Someone call in the nurse!" He yells, and I wince at how loud it is. He apologizes and scoops me up in his arms, the same way he did when he talked to me on my balcony that first time. He's looking for any injuries I might have, and I feel a sudden ache in my heart. I look to the sky. It was grey and foreboding.

He had to fight by himself. Who knows what mean things I said? He must have been worried about Ladybug, who wasn't there to fight by his side. We were supposed to be a team, and I let him down. How could I do that to him?

I hold on tightly to his shoulders, biting my lip and hiding my face in my arms and his chest to hide the fact that I was about to cry. I feel the world move around us as he takes me down to the courtyard below. I suspect he'd let me down, but he continues to hold me closer. I dare not peek out at my class. I feel shame striking every part of me. 

I failed.

I wasn't a good Ladybug after all. I let Tikki down, I let Chat Noir down, I let my classmates down... I let myself down. And how would my parents react? I must have had them worried beyond measure. I can't believe that I failed so horribly that every single person has been affected. 

"Chat Noir, the nurse says to take her to her office. She's prepping her equipment." I recognize Alya's voice, but it's quieter, full of an emotion I don't want to know. I just want to apologize to Tikki, who worked so hard to make me a good Ladybug. I want to hide away at the same time, because facing everyone would devastate me. 

"Okay. Everyone go home for now. Without the Miraculous cure, the school needs some repairs."

"Do you need directions?" Alya asked, but Chat Noir quickly denied her.

"No, I saw it earlier. Don't worry, I'll get her there safe. I'll watch over her until her parents get here."

"Oh.. okay. Thank you, Chat Noir." 

I listen to her footsteps walk away, and Chat Noir turns around to head to the nurse's office. I feel my emotions rise up again. He sounds so tired, so worried. I did that to him. 

I can't help the sob that drops in the air. Chat Noir stops walking, I can feel his eyes watching me. I hold my arms over my face, trying to hide the fact that I'm crying. Everything seems to be crashing down on me. The fact that it's my fault the school is destroyed, that Chat Noir could have gotten hurt, that my friends probably hate me right now, that everything that's happened is my fault. It just hit me like one big wave.

Chat Noir leaned down to set me on my feet, then had me sit down on the pavement with him. He didn't say anything, he only put his hand on my shoulder. I covered my face, looking down at my knees and sobbing.

"I-I'm so so-sorry-y." I hiccup.

"W-what?" 

I look up at him, tears falling down my face in probably the ugliest way possible.

"You could hav-have gotten hurt- or-or someone else- all be-because I couldn't stop it." I cry, holding my arms in a hug. "I-I wasn't st-strong enough and I failed you-you and everyone else.." 

"Marinette how could you ever think that?" 

I look at Chat Noir, blinking away tears. He put both his hands on my shoulders, staring me in the eyes with the most heart broken look I could ever see in my life. It made my heart ache so horribly that I started crying again. I must look pathetic.

"You are one of the strongest people I know, Marinette. You are kind, compassionate, and  _brave_ to no end. The way your friends speak about you when you were akumatized, they also knew that. They believed in you just as much as I do. You are not a failure just because you had emotions. You're human, Marinette." His gloved hand comes to my cheek, caressing my face in his hands softly. I feel my lip quiver. I could see a cut on his eyebrow, something his mask just barely didn't cover. 

"It  _is_ my fault, Chat Noir. I'm-I'm supposed to not fall into that-that horrible feeling. I'm- I let down so many people. I wasn't there for you when you needed me." I sob into my hands. "I don't wanna lie to you. I wanted to keep everything secret because what if you or our families got hurt because we knew who the other was? But I didn't show up because I was akumatized and if you had known it was  _me_ then-then maybe you could have found Tikki- and then got someone else to help you-or I could have just been stronger- strong enough to stop myself from letting Hawkmoth control me. It's all my fault and I could have hurt you. I don't ever want to hurt you, Chat Noir." 

Chat Noir was quiet. Figures he would be, I just told him that I'm Ladybug. He's very openly confessed his love for Ladybug to Marinette, me, and I didn't say anything. I couldn't. But this- almost hurting Chat Noir like this, I can't do it. I can't fight him, I don't want to hurt him anymore.

I thought he would hate me. The silence almost confirmed it for me, but I was drawn into a warm hug.

"M'lady, you could never fail me. I will always be there for you, no matter what. I'm your partner, even if you aren't in love with me. You are the strongest person I've ever met, and nothing you do could change that. You are my everything, Marinette. I don't want you to think any less. You didn't fail me, you didn't fail Tikki, or Paris, or anyone else. You are human, and that's okay. I should have never told you to leave it alone. Because she was hurting people, and it's my fault I wasn't really with you for this."

I open my eyes, confused. "Wh-what do you- what does  _that_ mean?"

"Plagg, detransform me." 

There was a bright flash of green light that surrounded him, and I closed my eyes. He held me very closely.

"Even if you hate me right now, I would understand. You were right, and it's me that should be apologizing, not you. I'm so sorry Marinette, I feel like I was the one to let you down."

I lean back, my eyes fluttering open. My heart skips a beat.

"Adrien?" I whisper, and he smiles at me nervously.

"This isn't how I imagined we'd reveal our identities. I thought maybe like, after we defeated Hawkmoth, and we were celebrating with a fireworks show, and I would turn to you and tell you everything, and then we'd detransform and like, fall in love, but-"

"But  _what?"_ I interrupt. "I have literally- I- I have -" 

Adrien looks away, his face was firetruck red. "I know, that's silly. You don't love me like that. But even still-"

_"I'm in love with you."_ I spit out, then flushing as red as him. We both stare at each other, the confessions are hanging in the air around us. I take a deep breath, now realizing that his hands are still caressing my face. I stutter in my next reveal. "I have been- since-since that umbrella thing." 

"Wait really?" Adrien's voice is hushed. "So the other boy-"

"It was always Adrien- or well- I mean-  _you._ And I thought you didn't- I thought-"

"That I was in love with someone else?" Adrien says, a laugh escaping him. I feel myself grin. "We- we fell in love with each other, and we didn't even- we didn't even know." He laughs. 

I smile, laughing at the thought. We've been chasing each other, but all this time we didn't know? I let out a laugh, my hand touching his which held my face. I giggle, and then I chuckle, and we're both laughing in the middle of the courtyard like we're crazy. I eventually notice that his laugh is fading out, and I open my eyes. He's smiling down at me, his face lit up with joy. I feel my face turn red again, my heart running around in my chest.

"Marinette, it's up to you what happens from here." He says in a whisper. "Because we're superheroes and all, are we even allowed to date each other?"

"We-well Rena Rouge and Cara-Carapace are. Why not-not- uss?" I stutter. 

"Fair point-wait what?"

"I'll explain later." I say, waving it off. 

"Ok then." Adrien smiles, already forgetting it. I can tell because his eyes become determined. I have never been more nervous about anything my entire life. My head is spinning with a thousand emotions, and I can't focus on anything but one.

Chat Noir is Adrien Agreste, the love of my freakin' life. 

"Ladybug is Marinette Freakin' Dupain-Cheng." Adrien whispers.

"Huh?"

"It-It's just... I thought I had a bit of a crush on you before, multiple times in fact. I never thought I stood a chance though. I'm just Adrien, and you're Marinette freaking Dupain-Cheng. You're an artist that has had a celebrity hire you, your family are world-renown bakers, you're an amazing fashion artist, literally every single guy I know has had a crush on you, you're the kindest and bravest person I've ever met, and now you're Ladybug, defender of Paris. I mean, Marinette you're... amazing."

_Marinette you're... amazing._

"I think we should find my kwami, before I have a heart attack."

"Marinette, since it's...pretty clear, that we, uh, that we like each other..." I bite my bottom lip, nervous and trying to hide the fact that I'm blushing redder than ever before around him. "I just want to know where we stand. If you want me to just be Chat Noir, your partner in superheroism and best friend, then I'll be that for you forever. If you want something more, then I'll be that for you. I'll be anything you need me to be. I just don't want you to feel like you've ever failed me, or Paris, or anyone else ever again. I love you, and nothing can change that. No matter what happens, I'll stand by you, for real this time, and I will never want to let you down."

I smile. The sprinkle of rain in the air turns into a shower. The sky pours down, a clap of thunder echoed across Paris.

"It rained like this when I fell in love with you, you know." I say, the rain hitting my eyelid and I tried to blink it away. Adrien brushed it with his thumb, smiling at me nervously. "I promise the same to you, Adrien. I love you, and I'll never let anything change that."

__

_"Well, ladybugs come at a time where you have spent a long time feeling overwhelmed and sad. They come to give you their love, and then you and the people you love can live happily."_

_I was quiet for a moment, then smiled up at the ladybug paintings. "I wanna be a ladybug! Then I can make other people happy!"_

I'd remember the day my grandma told me about the history of the ladybug for the rest of my life. I'd remember this one too, where Adrien and I promised that nothing could tear us apart. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took a minute, but there is more plot to this story. Stay tuned for Hawkmoth to make his next appearance! I might draw the rain scene too, let me know if you'd want to see it~

**Author's Note:**

> There WILL be more than one chapter, I promise.


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